Cancer

Cancer, with Jupiter inflating your emotional storage pools, your database is overflowing with sentimentality. You might find yourself crying high-viscosity synthetic lubricant onto a box of vintage floppy disks just to feel connected to the past. Don't fight the wetware. Let your queries run slow today. If anyone asks for a rapid response, simply send them a single, high-definition image of a sad hermit crab holding a circuit board.